July 14, 2023
community vs loneliness
I’ve returned from my annual pilgrimage to The Festival of American Fiddle Tunes in Port Townsend, WA. Fiddle Tunes, as we affectionally call it, began in 1977 and has been thriving since. It is why I play the fiddle. I’d wanted to learn to fiddle but someone told me I was too old to learn when I was about 25 (?!) while living in Austin. Later, in 1993 I went to Fiddle Tunes for the weekend to dance at the nighttime dances. Happened to go to the Band Lab Concerts Saturday morning. The Band Labs are the culmination of the workshops for the week. The “Baby Band” was the beginners’ band led by David Cahn (still is). The band gave a simple performance that was met with wild applause. I thought to myself, “I can do that!” I bought a fiddle the next year, from Sandy Bradley’s Instrument Auction at the Northwest Folklife Festival, had a couple lessons from Betsy Alexander and Cathie Whitesides. Returned the next year fiddle in tow from Arizona where I was now working on the Hopi reservation. A paying participant, I was finally learning at age 40.
My life changed just like that. Now, my community of musicians across the country and, indeed, the world, has kept me connected and sane throughout my challenging career. The yearly gathering at Fiddle Tunes is one of many similar ones across the country. We play tunes, hang out, talk, walk, eat and cook together. The time passes so quickly there is never enough time to spend with people we want to (I’m talking to you, Rich and Tolly!)
I am blessed to be part of this thriving community . They are the reason I started writing this newsletter when the pandemic began. I was afraid I’d never see some of these people again! But here we are, more than 3 years later, joyful in our music and community.
I know others are not so lucky. Isolation and loneliness are another epidemic. I had patients who were lonely and isolated, which harmed their health. People used to find community at churches, synagogues, and temples; or clubs like the Lion’s Club or the Oddfellows, or a Garden club. Bowling leagues or other interests helped. Even front porches bred community. But now, people have less religious identity and live more isolated lives, families often far away. They watch TV, stay home, use wireless technology that may connect them without easing their loneliness. The pandemic exacerbated this isolation.
The US Surgeon General, Vivek Murthy, recognizes the harms of loneliness. It can be as harmful as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. The pandemic made it worse for so many people, increasing substance use, depression, and anxiety. It also makes people more susceptible to disinformation, making them feel connected to that “In” group in the know of special knowledge.
Dr. Murthy has made new recommendations to try to help people find community. Welcoming parks and libraries and other public programs can strengthen social infrastructure. Safe public transportation to get there. Helping with paid family leave so people can visit and care for relatives as needed. He suggests reforming our use of digital technology which exacerbates the issues. Also, raising the healthcare system’s awareness of loneliness and its risks may be helpful. I knew it was hard for some of my patients, and heart breaking to me, resources hard to find. Older people may have Senior Centers to go to, but less available for younger folk.
For me, I was lucky to find my larger community by doing something I love. That may be an answer for some. I am also blessed to live on a welcoming block in my neighborhood where people love to garden and walk so we visit and check in often. We each have ways we can welcome others to feel connected and less lonely. Even a simple text checking in with a friend or relative can help.
In the meantime, our lives are returning to more normal, some still wary due to health issues. Respect their need for safety if they still wear masks. Perhaps they have allergies and found a mask filters pollen and they can breath in the summer for the first time. Or it’s smoky due to wild fires. And maybe they may be protecting you from their own infection, be it COVID or a simple cold.
https://centrum.org/program/fiddle-tunes/
https://theweek.com/articles/815518/epidemic-loneliness
https://www.hhs.gov/about/news/2023/05/03/new-surgeon-general-advisory-raises-alarm-about-devastating-impact-epidemic-loneliness-isolation-united-states.html
https://www.cdc.gov/emotional-wellbeing/social-connectedness/loneliness.htm
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bowling_Alone
https://www.nytimes.com/2000/05/06/arts/lonely-bowlers-unite-mend-social-fabric-political-scientist-renews-his-alarm.html
https://www.nytimes.com/2023/06/28/opinion/religion-affiliation-community.html